Home in your Body, Home in your Heart

I remember a friend once describing to me what partnership is for him: it’s that sweet moment at the end of the day when, no matter what happened, he lies down next to his partner and feels safe, secure, seen, loved, and at home.

It was so beautiful, and it touched me deeply. And it helped me realize that this was the type of relationship I have cultivated with myself over the years. To be able to come back at the end of the day (and most preferably several times a day), no matter what happened, to myself. To the home I created within my body and heart space.

To self-acceptance. To trust. To laugh at all the funny, weird, embarrassing things that happened today. All the mistakes I have made. All the food I had on my face or teeth while talking to other people. And if not to laugh, then to cry deeply and hold myself there.

To allow myself to cry. To connect to my body. To inhale deeply and exhale completely.

And if it was a really hard day and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, to tell myself: "tomorrow is another day, and it will be okay. I'm never alone. Always guided, even when it doesn't seem or feel like that. It’s also a part of what I came here to go through."

Sometimes to shout. To scream. To yawn. To move. To shake. To do yoga. To stretch. To dance. To go out to nature and stare at the sky, feeling the earth supporting me under my feet. It can be everything.

The magic starts at the moment I allow myself to feel what I feel right now. To release the judgment. The "how this day should have been" or "how I should feel right now", and simply be. To be the wisest and warmest company to that little girl inside of me who needs somebody who will listen, see her, and love her exactly as she is. She taught me to love her craziness, enjoy it so much, and stop forcing her to fit in or please. She taught me to listen. To care. To love. To say no. To trust her. And to say sorry when I’m pushing too hard. To tell her I know she sometimes has no certainty or ground, and I know she wants to be in a safe, cozy place, while I keep taking her further from there.

But then I remind her: what we are cultivating together is that space within us. And once we are building it from the inside, the outside must reflect it. It’s the law of the universe. As above, so below. As within, so without.

And then, with enough trust, patience, and consistency, all her needs are met. She gets her nice, cozy bed and kitchen for as long as she needs. She has warm, generous, and kind people around her who treat her as their sister or their daughter. She gets far more than she could have dreamed of, because she is no longer craving it. She already has it within herself. So now she made it a fact, it is already hers. And the universe replies with multiple blessings of love, miracles, and rainbows.

Expanding her heart with amazing people who teach her about variety, different ways of living, breaking old stereotypes, surprising her, expanding her consciousness, and showing her that there is no limit to the heart's expansion.

The only thing left to say is: Thank you so, so much. I love you so much. And I send them love, blessings, and gratitude whenever they cross through my mind and heart. I’m grateful for the opportunity to share sweet moments during such a short, unplanned time together. To love fully without knowing each other and without expecting anything from each other.

This magical love between strangers. The one not bound by a written agreement, where "we must love each other." This one, which is so free, so spontaneous, so effortless. It's the one that charms me.

And also, to visit an old couple's house and see how they have been taking care of each other for years with such gentleness and patience... that touches me deeply as well.

So many kinds of love. Of friendships. Of relationships.

Just to stay curious, open, with deep trust in myself and the universe. And of course, with great boundaries. To experience, dance, be hurt, love, cry, laugh, be disappointed, connect, let go, enjoy, taste, and celebrate. And to know that no matter what, at the end of the day, I will always come back home to myself.

With so much love, Avishag